The Modest Mouse Adventure!

Here’s a summary of my adventure at the free Modest Mouse concert presented by the Twilight concert series.

I left work at 4:30PM to meet up with my friend Mike, so we could jump aboard the fast-tracks next to Union Station. Mike use to be my General Manager at KWCR, when Mike left he was replaced by a different Mike. Mike also lives right across the street from where I work. Once aboard the train we talked about all the crazy things we could write blogs about. The best idea was probably the one where I write a fake letter to Katy Perry telling her that I secretly listen to her music and if she would send me an autographed photo.

When the train entered Salt Lake City we walked down the street which hosted all the halfway houses. I put my guard up assuming that at any moment someone was going ask me for spare change, so they could run off to the closets drug dealer or liquor store for their next fix. One fellow we passed on our way to Pioneer Park was so mentally unstable that he walked down the sidewalk like an Egyptian, hands pointed straight and everything. The Bangles wrote the hit song about it, but I just figured that it was a joke, I guess not.

Inside the park were hundreds a pond hundreds of people. Half the vendors I talked to had been to Desert Rocks. (A magical place I’ll talk about in a different blog). Most of the food lines were a mile long and I never realized that so many lesbians liked Modest Mouse. A sixteen year old girl with green braces came up to me and asked if I wanted to go back to my place to make out. (She must of been turned on by my cheap wayfare sunglasses which I had over my prescription frames and the neon green sweatband I had on my forehead). In figuring out a spot to stand so we could watch the show, Mike and I decided to stand behind a dude in a wheelchair; doing so would allow us to always have a view of the stage. I’m always amazed at how many people get wasted even before the show starts.

In a nutshell here is what happened during the almost two hour Modest Mouse set. About fifteen different folks climbed the tree next to us. For some reason it was a real cool thing to do. A dude decided to relieve himself on the same tree. A five foot tall girl danced up on me for Modest Mouse’s hit song Float On. The Mayor called Modest Mouse, “The Mouse.” I might of got a contact high from the three different people smoking pot next to me. And at least a hundred people stepped on my foot while trying to pass me.

The worst and most disturbing part was seeing a 21 year old male getting it on with a 50 year old female. It was one of those things you witness where as badly as you want to stop watching, you just can’t take your eyes off it. It is what I call the freak-show syndrome. Whereas strange and weird it might seem, we as human beings can’t take our eyes off the so-called “freak” because we find it so fraking curious. I’ve seen some MILF’s in my 25 years and this 50 year old was no MILF. I couldn't tell if the motley cure couple were so drunk off their rocker that they couldn’t tell what was happening or if the 21 year was just that desperate to get some action.

At the end of the concert Mike received a call from his wife, telling him that she was feeling pretty ill. Mike decided that we should use our “manly courage” and take a three mile walk through the heart of Salt Lake City ghetto to get to his wife’s place of work. Boy! Was our manly courage tested because I could have sworn that a monster or hobo was going to jump out of the dark and shank us.

On the drive back to Ogden we talked about Christian rock music. I impressed Mike’s wife with my vast information on popular Christian rock artists. All in all a good evening.