Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Bad Blood
Characters:
MATT: Baby Brother, logical and reasonable.
WILL: Big Brother, angry at the world.
TIME: LATE NIGHT
SETTING: Zombie Apocalypse. Two brothers trapped in an abandoned house.
WILL is holding MATT up as they enter the room. MATT is limping and his leg is bleeding.
MATT
Over there… Over there by the chair.
WILL
What the hell did you do! What happened!
MATT falls into the chair and removes his belt.
MATT
I need you to strap this around my leg.
WILL straps the belt quick and hard.
God that hurts!
WILL gives a sly laugh.
WILL
Damnit. There’s a lot of blood!
MATT
I think one of them bit me. It’s hard to tell with all this blood. God the pain!
WILL
One of those things bit you? I knew it. I knew right when I saw the blood.
MATT
I’m not sure… Whatever happened, something took a chunk right out of me! It could have been the razer wire fence we had to jump. I can’t remember… So many of those things surrounded us, I just kept shooting, but they just kept coming… I’ve gotta stop the bleeding. Try and find something I can use as a bandage. This pain is killing me.
WILL searches around and finds some old rags.
WILL
Here, but they won’t help.
WILL watches as MATT wraps the rags around his leg.
Your gonna have to die.
MATT
Huh?
A sound of banging from outside.
WILL
They followed us… The blood, it must have been all the blood. Damnit Matt.
MATT
The blood? You think they followed the blood trail?
WILL
OF COURSE… Why the hell did I listen to you? (Murmur) Something bad always happens to me when every damn time I listen to you.
MATT
We had to come back for dad.
WILL
(Mockingly) We had to come back for dad. We gotta find dad. Dad will know what to do. Dad. Dad. Dad… What a bunch of bullshit! Why the hell did I listen to you…
MATT
Will, once I can get this bleeding to stop we’ll leave this place and get to dad and his guns.
WILL
You can’t be real. No way is that happening now. The bleeding not going to stop. Cuts that big need stitches… I need to get out of this place. You’re gonna have to give me your gun.
MATT
You gotta calm down Will. This place is pretty solid. We’ll be safe here.
WILL calms down for a moment, then becomes very nervous.
WILL
HELL, this is no good. If one of those creatures bit you, who knows how long you have before… before you start acting like the people in town?
MATT
I’m not even sure if I was bitten, but Will you need to calm down.
WILL
Would you shut-up! I’m the older brother! I’m in charge and I need your gun so I can leave this damn coffin.
MATT
This house is SAFE! We need to wait.
WILL
You’re always trying to take charge! No matter what I say, you always have a better way! Look where your better way has gotten us now!
MATT
I’m hurt Will. My leg is bleeding all over the place and I can barely walk as it is. We need to figure out our options.
Sounds of moans and creatures banging against the house walls outside.
WILL
Did you hear that? This is goin’ to be my coffin!
MATT
We’re fine for the time being, but we are not going to be if you keep freaking out. We need to figure out what we’re going to do. We need to wait for help.
WILL
Help…to…come. You serious? The town just turned into a living nightmare out there. There’s no help comin’. Everybody is just as screwed as we are. And those creatures outside, I don’t even know what they are. Whatever the hell they are, they ain’t human. And one of them bit you. I ain’t waiting around, for those freaks to get in here or for you to turn and come after ME!
MATT
You are right. Things are crazy out there and that’s why we need things to be cool in here.
SILENCE
WILL
I’m gonna have to kill you.
MATT
WHAT!
WILL
If I know anything about the freaks outside, they carry some-sort of virus, and I can’t let you infect me.
MATT
You don’t know that!
WILL
I know enough. It doesn’t take anybody especially smart to figure out that the virus travels by contact.
MATT
(Frustrated) Will I could have just cut my leg on the fence. Remember the razor wire? In fact I’m almost positive about it.
WILL
I can’t take that chance. Even if you weren’t bitten, you bleeding all over the place is creating a homing beacon for the those psychos. You’re gonna have to die so I can have a chance at surviving this night.
MATT
But, Will the bleeding is slowing down. Once it slows enough we can leave. We can get dad!
WILL
You just told me you can barely walk, Matt. What, do you expect me to carry you back to dad’s? I ain’t gonna carry your ass one mile, let alone the three till dad’s house. More than likely dad’s already dead.
MATT
Dad’s smart. He’ll figure something out. He’s the one that taught us how to shoot straight, how to hunt, and how to survive. He’ll know what to do. We have to find him!
WILL
DAMNIT MATT! You never listen to me. I’m not following you anywhere else! Now give me the .45 before I’m forced to take it from you.
MATT
I’m not going to give it to you… Just so you can put me down like some rabid dog.
WILL
Look Matt this is worse then rabies. Now hand it over. LISTEN TO ME!
MATT
We’ve never really gotten along but killing me? (Pain) Oh, oh graawww, my stomach. It feels like a knife is turning in my stomach. (Screams in pain).
WILL
You’re turning! Gimme the gun before you do something stupid, like biting me!
MATT
(Murmur) I wish dad was here. We need to hold out in here.
WILL
Whatever! Give me the gun!
MATT
I’m not going to give it to you. (sickly) Oh god… my stomach…awh!
WILL
Matt, your leg?
MATT investigates his leg.
MATT
My leg… it stopped bleeding…Awh!
WILL
Give the gun NOW! I’m taking control.
Banging against the outer walls.
MATT
No.
WILL
I already asked for it nicely. Now I’m going to have to take it from you.
MATT
Maybe… maybe there’s a cure, that’s why we need to wait for help. Somebody must have some sort of cure?
WILL
The only cure we’re gonna find in this place is me putting a bullet in your head! That’s your damn cure!
MATT
What is your problem? We have to stick together. We need each other in order to get through this. We have to assess our situation.
MATT stands up, holds his stomach in pain and moves to the back of the room.
WILL
Stick together? That’s real cute coming from the brother who was always the head of class.
WILL slowly moves closer to MATT as he talks.
MATT
What are you talking about?
WILL
From the brother who could do no wrong in dad’s eyes. From the same damn brother who’s the Eagle Scout, the class President, the prom king, a Football hero.
MATT
What is this? This is not the time for this.
WILL
Mr. MVP of everything he ever did!
MATT tries to move away but doesn’t get far in his weakened condition.
Is this the same person? I just want to make sure were on the same page, ‘cause the brother I know he never wanted to stick together.
MATT
I never tried to control you. This is the wrong time to be getting jealous.
WILL
You always had to be dad’s favorite! No matter what it did to me!
MATT
Dad’s favorite? I’ve only ever tried to make dad proud. This is not the place for a fight. If you would just listen we might be able to survive this.
WILL grabs MATT by the shirt collar and pushes him against the wall.
WILL
Put it all on me, that makes it easy. Its my fault that you were perfect and I was just unwanted piece of reality in your life!
MATT
You’re being unreasonable! Listen to me!
WILL
NO! Now you listen to me! Give me the gun you SONAOFBITCH!
Banging from outside is getting louder.
MATT
You’ve gone insane!
WILL punches MATT several time around the kidney. WILL reaches inside MATT’s jacket and pulls out the 45 revolver.
WILL
You’ve had no idea how bad I’ve wanted to do this.
MATT
What the hell are you trying to do!
MATT and WILL fight for control of the weapon. The banging from outside grows louder. Will shoves him. WILL points the gun at MATT.
WILL
I’m gonna give you your cure.
WILL walks towards MATT with the gun aimed at him. MATT puts up his hands as to surrender.
MATT
Your acting crazy! Calm down. I’m your brother. I’m your BROTHER!
MATT launches toward WILL and bites his neck.
WILL
(Screams in pain).
WILL knock his brother away points the gun and pulls the trigger. The chamber is empty. He pulls the trigger five more times.
MATT
(Laughingly) I wasted the rest of the bullets at the fence… Awwwwhh.
MATT falls into the chair while still holding his stomach. Coughs out a laugh then lays his head, face down on the table.
WILL
(Holding his neck) God no.
WILL sits in the chair next to Matt.
I should have never listened to you.
The sounds of creatures in the house. MATT and WILL wait as the sounds get closer.
END
MATT: Baby Brother, logical and reasonable.
WILL: Big Brother, angry at the world.
TIME: LATE NIGHT
SETTING: Zombie Apocalypse. Two brothers trapped in an abandoned house.
WILL is holding MATT up as they enter the room. MATT is limping and his leg is bleeding.
MATT
Over there… Over there by the chair.
WILL
What the hell did you do! What happened!
MATT falls into the chair and removes his belt.
MATT
I need you to strap this around my leg.
WILL straps the belt quick and hard.
God that hurts!
WILL gives a sly laugh.
WILL
Damnit. There’s a lot of blood!
MATT
I think one of them bit me. It’s hard to tell with all this blood. God the pain!
WILL
One of those things bit you? I knew it. I knew right when I saw the blood.
MATT
I’m not sure… Whatever happened, something took a chunk right out of me! It could have been the razer wire fence we had to jump. I can’t remember… So many of those things surrounded us, I just kept shooting, but they just kept coming… I’ve gotta stop the bleeding. Try and find something I can use as a bandage. This pain is killing me.
WILL searches around and finds some old rags.
WILL
Here, but they won’t help.
WILL watches as MATT wraps the rags around his leg.
Your gonna have to die.
MATT
Huh?
A sound of banging from outside.
WILL
They followed us… The blood, it must have been all the blood. Damnit Matt.
MATT
The blood? You think they followed the blood trail?
WILL
OF COURSE… Why the hell did I listen to you? (Murmur) Something bad always happens to me when every damn time I listen to you.
MATT
We had to come back for dad.
WILL
(Mockingly) We had to come back for dad. We gotta find dad. Dad will know what to do. Dad. Dad. Dad… What a bunch of bullshit! Why the hell did I listen to you…
MATT
Will, once I can get this bleeding to stop we’ll leave this place and get to dad and his guns.
WILL
You can’t be real. No way is that happening now. The bleeding not going to stop. Cuts that big need stitches… I need to get out of this place. You’re gonna have to give me your gun.
MATT
You gotta calm down Will. This place is pretty solid. We’ll be safe here.
WILL calms down for a moment, then becomes very nervous.
WILL
HELL, this is no good. If one of those creatures bit you, who knows how long you have before… before you start acting like the people in town?
MATT
I’m not even sure if I was bitten, but Will you need to calm down.
WILL
Would you shut-up! I’m the older brother! I’m in charge and I need your gun so I can leave this damn coffin.
MATT
This house is SAFE! We need to wait.
WILL
You’re always trying to take charge! No matter what I say, you always have a better way! Look where your better way has gotten us now!
MATT
I’m hurt Will. My leg is bleeding all over the place and I can barely walk as it is. We need to figure out our options.
Sounds of moans and creatures banging against the house walls outside.
WILL
Did you hear that? This is goin’ to be my coffin!
MATT
We’re fine for the time being, but we are not going to be if you keep freaking out. We need to figure out what we’re going to do. We need to wait for help.
WILL
Help…to…come. You serious? The town just turned into a living nightmare out there. There’s no help comin’. Everybody is just as screwed as we are. And those creatures outside, I don’t even know what they are. Whatever the hell they are, they ain’t human. And one of them bit you. I ain’t waiting around, for those freaks to get in here or for you to turn and come after ME!
MATT
You are right. Things are crazy out there and that’s why we need things to be cool in here.
SILENCE
WILL
I’m gonna have to kill you.
MATT
WHAT!
WILL
If I know anything about the freaks outside, they carry some-sort of virus, and I can’t let you infect me.
MATT
You don’t know that!
WILL
I know enough. It doesn’t take anybody especially smart to figure out that the virus travels by contact.
MATT
(Frustrated) Will I could have just cut my leg on the fence. Remember the razor wire? In fact I’m almost positive about it.
WILL
I can’t take that chance. Even if you weren’t bitten, you bleeding all over the place is creating a homing beacon for the those psychos. You’re gonna have to die so I can have a chance at surviving this night.
MATT
But, Will the bleeding is slowing down. Once it slows enough we can leave. We can get dad!
WILL
You just told me you can barely walk, Matt. What, do you expect me to carry you back to dad’s? I ain’t gonna carry your ass one mile, let alone the three till dad’s house. More than likely dad’s already dead.
MATT
Dad’s smart. He’ll figure something out. He’s the one that taught us how to shoot straight, how to hunt, and how to survive. He’ll know what to do. We have to find him!
WILL
DAMNIT MATT! You never listen to me. I’m not following you anywhere else! Now give me the .45 before I’m forced to take it from you.
MATT
I’m not going to give it to you… Just so you can put me down like some rabid dog.
WILL
Look Matt this is worse then rabies. Now hand it over. LISTEN TO ME!
MATT
We’ve never really gotten along but killing me? (Pain) Oh, oh graawww, my stomach. It feels like a knife is turning in my stomach. (Screams in pain).
WILL
You’re turning! Gimme the gun before you do something stupid, like biting me!
MATT
(Murmur) I wish dad was here. We need to hold out in here.
WILL
Whatever! Give me the gun!
MATT
I’m not going to give it to you. (sickly) Oh god… my stomach…awh!
WILL
Matt, your leg?
MATT investigates his leg.
MATT
My leg… it stopped bleeding…Awh!
WILL
Give the gun NOW! I’m taking control.
Banging against the outer walls.
MATT
No.
WILL
I already asked for it nicely. Now I’m going to have to take it from you.
MATT
Maybe… maybe there’s a cure, that’s why we need to wait for help. Somebody must have some sort of cure?
WILL
The only cure we’re gonna find in this place is me putting a bullet in your head! That’s your damn cure!
MATT
What is your problem? We have to stick together. We need each other in order to get through this. We have to assess our situation.
MATT stands up, holds his stomach in pain and moves to the back of the room.
WILL
Stick together? That’s real cute coming from the brother who was always the head of class.
WILL slowly moves closer to MATT as he talks.
MATT
What are you talking about?
WILL
From the brother who could do no wrong in dad’s eyes. From the same damn brother who’s the Eagle Scout, the class President, the prom king, a Football hero.
MATT
What is this? This is not the time for this.
WILL
Mr. MVP of everything he ever did!
MATT tries to move away but doesn’t get far in his weakened condition.
Is this the same person? I just want to make sure were on the same page, ‘cause the brother I know he never wanted to stick together.
MATT
I never tried to control you. This is the wrong time to be getting jealous.
WILL
You always had to be dad’s favorite! No matter what it did to me!
MATT
Dad’s favorite? I’ve only ever tried to make dad proud. This is not the place for a fight. If you would just listen we might be able to survive this.
WILL grabs MATT by the shirt collar and pushes him against the wall.
WILL
Put it all on me, that makes it easy. Its my fault that you were perfect and I was just unwanted piece of reality in your life!
MATT
You’re being unreasonable! Listen to me!
WILL
NO! Now you listen to me! Give me the gun you SONAOFBITCH!
Banging from outside is getting louder.
MATT
You’ve gone insane!
WILL punches MATT several time around the kidney. WILL reaches inside MATT’s jacket and pulls out the 45 revolver.
WILL
You’ve had no idea how bad I’ve wanted to do this.
MATT
What the hell are you trying to do!
MATT and WILL fight for control of the weapon. The banging from outside grows louder. Will shoves him. WILL points the gun at MATT.
WILL
I’m gonna give you your cure.
WILL walks towards MATT with the gun aimed at him. MATT puts up his hands as to surrender.
MATT
Your acting crazy! Calm down. I’m your brother. I’m your BROTHER!
MATT launches toward WILL and bites his neck.
WILL
(Screams in pain).
WILL knock his brother away points the gun and pulls the trigger. The chamber is empty. He pulls the trigger five more times.
MATT
(Laughingly) I wasted the rest of the bullets at the fence… Awwwwhh.
MATT falls into the chair while still holding his stomach. Coughs out a laugh then lays his head, face down on the table.
WILL
(Holding his neck) God no.
WILL sits in the chair next to Matt.
I should have never listened to you.
The sounds of creatures in the house. MATT and WILL wait as the sounds get closer.
END
Friday, January 28, 2011
Christmas Wishes
Characters:
CHRIS
CHEF
SHERRY
Time: Late Christmas Night
Setting: Freeport, Bahamas Resort Buffet area, all the evening deserts are on display, but the buffet area is empty except for a CHEF wiping off the counters.
CHRIS enters the buffet area looking at all the deserts. There’s a CHEF standing on the other side of the buffet counter. The CHEF notices CHRIS, he smiles walks into the buffet area.
CHEF
Merry Christmas!
CHRIS
Merry Christmas.
CHEF
It’s kind of late for eating my mon?
CHRIS
I guess so, but there’s never really a bad time for something sweet on Christmas day.
CHEF
You said it mon. You look lonely my mon. You lonely this Christmas, my mon?
CHRIS
A little but nothing I can’t handle.
CHEF
No need for being lonely on Christmas, my mon.
CHRIS
Well I still got Santa Claus right?
CHEF has light laugh to CHRIS’ joke, then uses his eyes to size CHRIS up. Then moves closer to CHRIS as if they’re close friends.
CHEF
I hear you my mon. You know, I have good friend I think you should meet. Would you like to meet her?
CHRIS
Hhuuhh…sure.
CHEF
Very good my mon.
Shouts over the buffet counter.
SHERRY! HEY SHERRY COME OUT HERE!
A large Bahamian woman comes out from the kitchen. She is dress in what looks like a lunch ladies’ uniform.
Here she is.
She leans up against the buffet counter window, looks at CHRIS and smiles. CHRIS is nervous.
She is very, very nice lady.
CHRIS
Well…hum…I huh, came in for a little desert.
CHEF
Of course you did my friend that is why were talking. Have you met Sherry?
CHRIS is silent. CHEF puts his arm around CHRIS and leads in close.
Sherry, she does everything.
CHRIS
-gulp-
CHEF
She does everything.
SHERRY winks at CHRIS and smiles.
CHRIS
That’s cool…
CHEF laughs.
CHEF
Yes, yes my mon. Now you have no reason to be lonely for Christmas. What you say?
CHRIS moves out of CHEF’s grip and moves over to the desert buffet table.
CHRIS
Wow, this cheesecake looks good. This is what I came for, cheesecake.
CHEF
Don’t be scared my mon. You never been with woman before? Sherry she real special. She knows how to take care of young boys like you.
CHEF squeezes CHRIS’s shoulder and SHERRY continues to smile at CHRIS.
I know what your problem is my mon. (Looks CHRIS dead in the eyes). You worried about the price. ‘Cause we both know this buffet is free, but the sex ain’t. So since it being a holiday, and we all should get somethin’ special from St. Nicholas, ain’t that right my mon? All good boys get gifts from St. Nicholas? And I can tell my friend, that you was good boy this year. Am I right my mon?
CHRIS moves out of the CHEF’s grip.
CHRIS
I should probably try and find out where my parents are.
CHEF
Forget your parents. You worry they find you doing somethin’ in their room. No worries my mon, I’ve got a place you can use.
CHRIS
No, I’m worry about getting a freaking STD.
SHERRY
What’s that?
CHEF
Shut-up Sherry this is man talk.
SHERRY
I just wanted to know.
CHRIS
She doesn’t know what STDs are?
CHEF
Like I said mon she’s special. And she ain’t dirty either. Now let’s talk money.
CHRIS
I just came for the cheesecake. I’m really…
CHEF cuts CHRIS off and gets louder.
CHEF
SCREW THE CHEESECAKE! It taste like shit. Now the price for Sherry is twenty bucks. What you say, my mon, we have a deal?
SHERRY
I like the cheesecake.
CHEF
Shut-up woman!
CHRIS
Sex for money is against my religion.
CHEF
It’s Christmas mon! God turns his head on Christmas Day. Now twenty bucks gets you everything.
CHRIS
I think I see my mom over by the cabana.
CHEF
Look here boy! You shouldn’t be coming in here looking for action if you’re not wanting any!
CHRIS
I just came in here for a piece of cheesecake. I swear that’s all I had in mind when I came in here!
CHEF
What the hell my mon! You came in here saying you wanted desert and that you were lonely! Now if you don’t give me twenty bucks for Sherry, you better give me twenty bucks for wasting my time. And you better do it before I kick your stupid white ass!
CHRIS grabs a plate that has a slice of cheesecake.
CHRIS
I’m just gonna take this and go.
CHEF
You can’t be goin’ nowhere until I get my money.
CHEF grabs CHRIS
CHRIS
I don’t want trouble. I…I… Just want a piece of the cheesecake and I’m gone.
SHERRY
You’d better just give him the money baby.
CHEF
You in trouble now!
CHEF pulls out a switchblade.
Now give me the money before I take something worth more then twenty buck.
CHEF holds the knife near CHRIS’ crotch. CHRIS tries to escape but he’s stuck in between the buffet table and the CHEF.
CHRIS
I’d kind of like to keep that… In fact I’d kind of like to stay in one piece.
SHERRY
How’d we suppose to do it, if you cut that off?
CHEF
WOMAN! What did I tell you about talking? NOW SHUT UP!
CHRIS
Can’t we discuss this like rational human beings! I just wanted the cheesecake, I don’t want Sherry, I don’t want trouble, and definitely don’t want to lose any body parts, and especially the one you have that knife on!
CHEF
And I bet you didn’t want to give me twenty bucks, but now you goin’ have to.
CHRIS
I don’t even have the money, ‘cause everything at the resort is already paid for! Now please put down the knife before you hurt the family jewels!
SHERRY
Marty you hear that? He’s got jewels on him!
CHIEF turns around to face SHERRY pointing the knife at her, giving CHRIS enough room to run.
CHEF
WOMAN! What the hell did I just SAY! Now you better-
CHRIS grabs his slice of cheesecake and books it out of the room.
What the…? Now look what you did! You dumb bit-
Another RESORT GUEST walks into the buffet. CHEF quickly hides the knife between his back.
CHEF
Merry Christmas my mon!
RESORT GUEST
Merry Christmas! Oh sweet you guys got the cheesecake out.
CHEF
And we got more than that my mon.
CHEF closes knife and slips it back into his pocket and walks up close to the RESORT GUEST.
END
CHRIS
CHEF
SHERRY
Time: Late Christmas Night
Setting: Freeport, Bahamas Resort Buffet area, all the evening deserts are on display, but the buffet area is empty except for a CHEF wiping off the counters.
CHRIS enters the buffet area looking at all the deserts. There’s a CHEF standing on the other side of the buffet counter. The CHEF notices CHRIS, he smiles walks into the buffet area.
CHEF
Merry Christmas!
CHRIS
Merry Christmas.
CHEF
It’s kind of late for eating my mon?
CHRIS
I guess so, but there’s never really a bad time for something sweet on Christmas day.
CHEF
You said it mon. You look lonely my mon. You lonely this Christmas, my mon?
CHRIS
A little but nothing I can’t handle.
CHEF
No need for being lonely on Christmas, my mon.
CHRIS
Well I still got Santa Claus right?
CHEF has light laugh to CHRIS’ joke, then uses his eyes to size CHRIS up. Then moves closer to CHRIS as if they’re close friends.
CHEF
I hear you my mon. You know, I have good friend I think you should meet. Would you like to meet her?
CHRIS
Hhuuhh…sure.
CHEF
Very good my mon.
Shouts over the buffet counter.
SHERRY! HEY SHERRY COME OUT HERE!
A large Bahamian woman comes out from the kitchen. She is dress in what looks like a lunch ladies’ uniform.
Here she is.
She leans up against the buffet counter window, looks at CHRIS and smiles. CHRIS is nervous.
She is very, very nice lady.
CHRIS
Well…hum…I huh, came in for a little desert.
CHEF
Of course you did my friend that is why were talking. Have you met Sherry?
CHRIS is silent. CHEF puts his arm around CHRIS and leads in close.
Sherry, she does everything.
CHRIS
-gulp-
CHEF
She does everything.
SHERRY winks at CHRIS and smiles.
CHRIS
That’s cool…
CHEF laughs.
CHEF
Yes, yes my mon. Now you have no reason to be lonely for Christmas. What you say?
CHRIS moves out of CHEF’s grip and moves over to the desert buffet table.
CHRIS
Wow, this cheesecake looks good. This is what I came for, cheesecake.
CHEF
Don’t be scared my mon. You never been with woman before? Sherry she real special. She knows how to take care of young boys like you.
CHEF squeezes CHRIS’s shoulder and SHERRY continues to smile at CHRIS.
I know what your problem is my mon. (Looks CHRIS dead in the eyes). You worried about the price. ‘Cause we both know this buffet is free, but the sex ain’t. So since it being a holiday, and we all should get somethin’ special from St. Nicholas, ain’t that right my mon? All good boys get gifts from St. Nicholas? And I can tell my friend, that you was good boy this year. Am I right my mon?
CHRIS moves out of the CHEF’s grip.
CHRIS
I should probably try and find out where my parents are.
CHEF
Forget your parents. You worry they find you doing somethin’ in their room. No worries my mon, I’ve got a place you can use.
CHRIS
No, I’m worry about getting a freaking STD.
SHERRY
What’s that?
CHEF
Shut-up Sherry this is man talk.
SHERRY
I just wanted to know.
CHRIS
She doesn’t know what STDs are?
CHEF
Like I said mon she’s special. And she ain’t dirty either. Now let’s talk money.
CHRIS
I just came for the cheesecake. I’m really…
CHEF cuts CHRIS off and gets louder.
CHEF
SCREW THE CHEESECAKE! It taste like shit. Now the price for Sherry is twenty bucks. What you say, my mon, we have a deal?
SHERRY
I like the cheesecake.
CHEF
Shut-up woman!
CHRIS
Sex for money is against my religion.
CHEF
It’s Christmas mon! God turns his head on Christmas Day. Now twenty bucks gets you everything.
CHRIS
I think I see my mom over by the cabana.
CHEF
Look here boy! You shouldn’t be coming in here looking for action if you’re not wanting any!
CHRIS
I just came in here for a piece of cheesecake. I swear that’s all I had in mind when I came in here!
CHEF
What the hell my mon! You came in here saying you wanted desert and that you were lonely! Now if you don’t give me twenty bucks for Sherry, you better give me twenty bucks for wasting my time. And you better do it before I kick your stupid white ass!
CHRIS grabs a plate that has a slice of cheesecake.
CHRIS
I’m just gonna take this and go.
CHEF
You can’t be goin’ nowhere until I get my money.
CHEF grabs CHRIS
CHRIS
I don’t want trouble. I…I… Just want a piece of the cheesecake and I’m gone.
SHERRY
You’d better just give him the money baby.
CHEF
You in trouble now!
CHEF pulls out a switchblade.
Now give me the money before I take something worth more then twenty buck.
CHEF holds the knife near CHRIS’ crotch. CHRIS tries to escape but he’s stuck in between the buffet table and the CHEF.
CHRIS
I’d kind of like to keep that… In fact I’d kind of like to stay in one piece.
SHERRY
How’d we suppose to do it, if you cut that off?
CHEF
WOMAN! What did I tell you about talking? NOW SHUT UP!
CHRIS
Can’t we discuss this like rational human beings! I just wanted the cheesecake, I don’t want Sherry, I don’t want trouble, and definitely don’t want to lose any body parts, and especially the one you have that knife on!
CHEF
And I bet you didn’t want to give me twenty bucks, but now you goin’ have to.
CHRIS
I don’t even have the money, ‘cause everything at the resort is already paid for! Now please put down the knife before you hurt the family jewels!
SHERRY
Marty you hear that? He’s got jewels on him!
CHIEF turns around to face SHERRY pointing the knife at her, giving CHRIS enough room to run.
CHEF
WOMAN! What the hell did I just SAY! Now you better-
CHRIS grabs his slice of cheesecake and books it out of the room.
What the…? Now look what you did! You dumb bit-
Another RESORT GUEST walks into the buffet. CHEF quickly hides the knife between his back.
CHEF
Merry Christmas my mon!
RESORT GUEST
Merry Christmas! Oh sweet you guys got the cheesecake out.
CHEF
And we got more than that my mon.
CHEF closes knife and slips it back into his pocket and walks up close to the RESORT GUEST.
END
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