Christmas Wishes

Characters:
CHRIS
CHEF
SHERRY
Time: Late Christmas Night
Setting: Freeport, Bahamas Resort Buffet area, all the evening deserts are on display, but the buffet area is empty except for a CHEF wiping off the counters.
CHRIS enters the buffet area looking at all the deserts. There’s a CHEF standing on the other side of the buffet counter. The CHEF notices CHRIS, he smiles walks into the buffet area.
CHEF
Merry Christmas!
CHRIS
Merry Christmas.
CHEF
It’s kind of late for eating my mon?
CHRIS
I guess so, but there’s never really a bad time for something sweet on Christmas day.
CHEF
You said it mon. You look lonely my mon. You lonely this Christmas, my mon?
CHRIS
A little but nothing I can’t handle.
CHEF
No need for being lonely on Christmas, my mon.
CHRIS
Well I still got Santa Claus right?
CHEF has light laugh to CHRIS’ joke, then uses his eyes to size CHRIS up. Then moves closer to CHRIS as if they’re close friends.

CHEF

I hear you my mon. You know, I have good friend I think you should meet. Would you like to meet her?

CHRIS

Hhuuhh…sure.

CHEF

Very good my mon.
Shouts over the buffet counter.

SHERRY! HEY SHERRY COME OUT HERE!

A large Bahamian woman comes out from the kitchen. She is dress in what looks like a lunch ladies’ uniform.

Here she is.

She leans up against the buffet counter window, looks at CHRIS and smiles. CHRIS is nervous.

She is very, very nice lady.

CHRIS

Well…hum…I huh, came in for a little desert.

CHEF

Of course you did my friend that is why were talking. Have you met Sherry?



CHRIS is silent. CHEF puts his arm around CHRIS and leads in close.

Sherry, she does everything.

CHRIS

-gulp-

CHEF

She does everything.

SHERRY winks at CHRIS and smiles.

CHRIS

That’s cool…

CHEF laughs.

CHEF

Yes, yes my mon. Now you have no reason to be lonely for Christmas. What you say?

CHRIS moves out of CHEF’s grip and moves over to the desert buffet table.

CHRIS
Wow, this cheesecake looks good. This is what I came for, cheesecake.

CHEF

Don’t be scared my mon. You never been with woman before? Sherry she real special. She knows how to take care of young boys like you.

CHEF squeezes CHRIS’s shoulder and SHERRY continues to smile at CHRIS.

I know what your problem is my mon. (Looks CHRIS dead in the eyes). You worried about the price. ‘Cause we both know this buffet is free, but the sex ain’t. So since it being a holiday, and we all should get somethin’ special from St. Nicholas, ain’t that right my mon? All good boys get gifts from St. Nicholas? And I can tell my friend, that you was good boy this year. Am I right my mon?

CHRIS moves out of the CHEF’s grip.

CHRIS
I should probably try and find out where my parents are.

CHEF
Forget your parents. You worry they find you doing somethin’ in their room. No worries my mon, I’ve got a place you can use.

CHRIS
No, I’m worry about getting a freaking STD.

SHERRY
What’s that?

CHEF
Shut-up Sherry this is man talk.

SHERRY
I just wanted to know.

CHRIS
She doesn’t know what STDs are?

CHEF
Like I said mon she’s special. And she ain’t dirty either. Now let’s talk money.

CHRIS
I just came for the cheesecake. I’m really…

CHEF cuts CHRIS off and gets louder.

CHEF
SCREW THE CHEESECAKE! It taste like shit. Now the price for Sherry is twenty bucks. What you say, my mon, we have a deal?

SHERRY
I like the cheesecake.

CHEF
Shut-up woman!

CHRIS
Sex for money is against my religion.

CHEF
It’s Christmas mon! God turns his head on Christmas Day. Now twenty bucks gets you everything.

CHRIS
I think I see my mom over by the cabana.

CHEF
Look here boy! You shouldn’t be coming in here looking for action if you’re not wanting any!

CHRIS
I just came in here for a piece of cheesecake. I swear that’s all I had in mind when I came in here!

CHEF
What the hell my mon! You came in here saying you wanted desert and that you were lonely! Now if you don’t give me twenty bucks for Sherry, you better give me twenty bucks for wasting my time. And you better do it before I kick your stupid white ass!

CHRIS grabs a plate that has a slice of cheesecake.

CHRIS
I’m just gonna take this and go.

CHEF
You can’t be goin’ nowhere until I get my money.

CHEF grabs CHRIS

CHRIS
I don’t want trouble. I…I… Just want a piece of the cheesecake and I’m gone.

SHERRY
You’d better just give him the money baby.

CHEF
You in trouble now!
CHEF pulls out a switchblade.

Now give me the money before I take something worth more then twenty buck.

CHEF holds the knife near CHRIS’ crotch. CHRIS tries to escape but he’s stuck in between the buffet table and the CHEF.

CHRIS
I’d kind of like to keep that… In fact I’d kind of like to stay in one piece.

SHERRY
How’d we suppose to do it, if you cut that off?

CHEF
WOMAN! What did I tell you about talking? NOW SHUT UP!

CHRIS
Can’t we discuss this like rational human beings! I just wanted the cheesecake, I don’t want Sherry, I don’t want trouble, and definitely don’t want to lose any body parts, and especially the one you have that knife on!

CHEF
And I bet you didn’t want to give me twenty bucks, but now you goin’ have to.

CHRIS
I don’t even have the money, ‘cause everything at the resort is already paid for! Now please put down the knife before you hurt the family jewels!

SHERRY
Marty you hear that? He’s got jewels on him!

CHIEF turns around to face SHERRY pointing the knife at her, giving CHRIS enough room to run.

CHEF
WOMAN! What the hell did I just SAY! Now you better-

CHRIS grabs his slice of cheesecake and books it out of the room.
What the…? Now look what you did! You dumb bit-

Another RESORT GUEST walks into the buffet. CHEF quickly hides the knife between his back.

CHEF
Merry Christmas my mon!

RESORT GUEST
Merry Christmas! Oh sweet you guys got the cheesecake out.

CHEF
And we got more than that my mon.
CHEF closes knife and slips it back into his pocket and walks up close to the RESORT GUEST.

END